PolyArmoury Is Back

Stoned Monkey Radio’s fifth edition D&D roleplaying series, PolyArmoury is returning 2020.04.11. When Curiosity Epidemic finished season 1 of Badly Designated Heroes, it was proposed that someone else take a turn DMing. As Jane was still desperate to finish telling the PA story, it was agreed that Becky, Nick, and James would roll up characters for the underdark.

The second season takes place some time after Valerie, Brilmara, and Thrall’s attempt to rescue Ellenor Findare from Croke Manor (which resulted in a lot of fire and death, and ultimately, the end of their relationship (don’t worry, Val and Thrall are still alive)). It will follow the adventures of a different PolyArmoury Requisition Patrol (P.A.R.P.) made up of Dee – a pleasure seeking, non-binary, changeling; Dusty – their gruff dust genasi barbarian lover; and Skitata – a broken, possessed monk.

Prepare for ridiculousness, spiders, amateur porn made by gnolls, High Elves, imposters, gods, magic, death, returning characters, and brand new theme music.

Soundcloud:
https://soundcloud.com/jane-aerith-magnet/polyarmoury-season-1-recap/s-D4aodFJWiLV

YouTube:
https://youtu.be/nEu8KMk4JH4

Apple Podcasts
https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/stoned-monkey-radio/id1265778584

I’m Graving, I’m Graving – Graveyard Keeper

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Stardew Valley is very popular. It’s bright, colourful, and very pleasant. People enjoy the simple farming life, the interactions with interesting characters, the world to open up and explore. They revel in the growing of things, the fishing, the dungeon delving. It’s a really charming game that’s rightly loved.

Graveyard Keeper is Stardew Valley’s edgy cousin who listens to only the most brutal tunes and pops ants with a magnifying glass in summer. One day it may grow up a bit, learn some empathy and be a cool metal head rather than an edgelord.

The aesthetic of GK is mostly dark, drab, and miserable. Which is appropriate for the theme. You’re dead(?), but somehow in this purgatory where you have a job and everyone wants something from you. The last keeper has gone, no one seems quite sure where, when, or why. As such, the graveyard is overgrown and falling apart. It’s your job to smarten things up and take care of the bodies that are dropped off periodically by a talking, socialist donkey.

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The bodies are given a rating in red and white skulls. The more white skulls, the better and this will help the overall rating of your graveyard once they’re interred. By undertaking certain tasks on the autopsy table, you can change the number of skulls of either type. Removing fat and blood will reduce one red skull each, whereas removing the heart could replace a red with white or add an additional point to red.

All this has to be done quickly as the body is decomposing at a startling rate, and if you want to get your graveyard score up enough to impress the bishop, you’ll want only the best corpses in your hallowed grounds.

Graves aren’t just holes in the ground, you’ll want to smarten them up some. While you can initially only fashion wooden crosses, you’ll soon be making much nicer markers and frames and even upgrading to stone or even marble (though that’s a way off).

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At the start of the game you’re mostly struggling for resources such as sticks, wood, stone, food and iron ore. It can take quite a while to build up enough of this that you feel you can move on with the plot or properly explore the world. There’s an almost overwhelming amount to do. Corridors need repairing so you can get through to other areas, bridges need repairing, almost everyone you meet will have a task for you, the donkey has a new body for you to deal with every day (which needs immediate attention if you want it to stay in a good state), and your early wooden grave stones/frames will need regular repairs. It’s a lot and you’re not really told what to prioritise.

Having enough to do is fine, but the stamina system can make each day feel ridiculously short, especially before you upgrade your tools and equipment, and get your farm working so you can produce bread.

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Luckily, after a while, the donkey decides that they won’t deliver you bodies unless you can grease their wheels (literally and metaphorically). This means that you can just ignore the request until you’re ready for another corpse. It’s also around this time that you have everything that you need to start upgrading your graveyard items to stone, which will also provide you more food. Time to take a breath.

There’s a lot to do and around now you’ll have access to most of it. There’s multiple tech trees to unlock, bridges to repair, blockages to clear, resource gathering, fishing, holding weekly mass, extensive farming, upgrading all your workstations, work space, tools, equipment, graveyard, church, doing a scientific study of just about every item in the game, alchemy, embalming, fetch quests, raising the dead to serve you, dungeon crawling, trading to unlock additional items for sale, oh, and there’s all the story stuff.

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You might say that all that sounds more dark/goth than edgy, and you’d be right. What creeps into edgy for me was that the local inquisitor insists on burning people as witches. Furthermore, they set up a whole quest for you to grow grapes and make your own wine, so you can get their soldiers drunk because they’ll find more witches that way. Not only that but you have to print up fliers for the latest witch burning because attendances are down. It doesn’t feel a million miles from historical accuracy, but it’s gross nonetheless. I’m all about death, science, and exploration, but the religious aspects of this game squick me mightily. That and the unnecessary use of a slur for one of the character names. They don’t have a name just a title and [current year argument] devs should know better.

Graveyard Keeper piles a huge number of tasks (and generally just stuff) on you in the hope of eventually getting your character reunited with their love. And while that goal may be achievable, it’s done in such a half-assed way that the ending of the game feels like the dev is just flipping you off before rolling credits. Making a quick joke about making loads of DLC to fill out the ending really doesn’t help it’s case in the least.

Pros:

  • A very engaging gameplay loop
  • Interesting setting
  • Lots to do

Cons:

  • Piss weak ending
  • Unnecessary use of a slur in a character title
  • Gross religious BS

Final Score: 5/10

Come Along With Me – Wattam

If you’ve been reading my stuff for a while, you’ll know I really like the Katamari Games. As such I was super excited to hear that Keita Takahashi would be releasing Wattam in time for the new year (happy new year btw). From the trailers I knew very little, apart from that it would have a similar graphical style to the Takahashi’s other games, and that it involved holding hands.

Wattam plonks you into a dark world with only a sad looking green cube friend who wears a black hat and has confusing facial features (everyone’s nose looks kinda like a cat’s mouth so the mouth below that makes for some mental gymnastics while playing). The cube – introduced as Mayor, has lost their memory and must explore the world around them, meeting a rapidly expanding cast of brightly coloured and simply designed companions. Friends such as orange flower, acorn, squid, boat, telephone & toilet.

Taking your first steps in the world of Wattam, you’re given a basic tutorial, introducing the abilities of holding hands with others, moving the red arrow (which points to whichever character you want to control), climb on people, and (as Mayor) doff your hat to create a small explosive gift box and blast anyone nearby into the air, laughing joyously.

While blowing up your friends is generally frowned upon in real life, everyone seems really happy about it in Wattam.

There’s a real joy to experimenting with this world. You’ll be taught early on that trees can eat people and turn them into fruit (we got you vore crowd, it’s all harmless fun here). Mouth, on the other hand, can eat fruit and turn it into coiled piles of poop (buzzing flies and all). At this point a tree could eat them again and turn them back to their original form, even if toilet got to them they could end up gold plated (the toilet is ever hungry for poops).

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While this is all silly fun, I did struggle a bit in the late game, when I needed to find particular friends for a puzzle but could only find a box of sweet potato fries where I’d hoped to find an octopus and having completely forgotten about changing people’s forms as it had been a few days between plays. This is where Wattam’s explanation-light approach can become an issue, because it’s never explicitly stated that the collection menu can tell you both what form a friend is in right now, and what their normal state is. That said, it was only for one puzzle that I was struggling and only at the very end of winter.

Speaking of the collection screen, there’s a lot of silliness to find here too. Much like Donut County’s Trashopedia, each of the characters have an intro screen showing brief descriptions of them. This changes as they change form, so it’s worth checking back here a few times, to get the full experience.

Scale takes a role in this world, much like Katamari Damacy. When you’re zoomed in, you’ll be controlling characters around Mayor’s size. However, as you zoom out, you’ll take over some of the arriving friends such as the boat, a larger toilet, or bowling alley. These more grand characters can ferry others across the sea of clouds that makes up the wider world, taking them to visit main islands, each based on the seasons.

The music of Wattam is the kind of gentle and jolly tunes Keita Takahashi’s games are well know for. There’s plenty of acapella to “la-la laaa” along to and there’s almost always the sound of laughter and play from the other visitors to each island.

As you progress through the game, you learn more of the overarching plot through a series of simple vignettes. Why was the rainbow destroyed? Who is the mysterious, horned figure? What happened to the world?

At its core, Wattam is a simple game of exploration, experimentation, and puzzle solving. There’s a simple joy to helping one of your companions, being rewarded with the arrival of a new friend who in turn ferries in a number of smaller friends for you to interact as, or help through a difficulty. Be that helping seeds to grow into trees, getting a telephone receiver back from the sun, or stacking a group of friends up until you’re the same height as a bowling pin (for some reason).

Despite some of the more scatalogical aspects of the game, I found it packed with charm and simple delights and was regularly giggling away at the sheer joy of the world as I took the hand of a new friend and explored the vibrant and expanding world. It might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if you like weird, puzzly, colourful fun, and the sound of joyous laughter, you could do a lot worse than Wattam.

Pros:

  • Really Charming
  • Colourful
  • Original

Cons:

  • Nearly glitched the game to death when steering an explosion for a prolonged period
  • Some slow down in places
  • Camera controls are a bit clunky

Final Score: 8/10

How’s Anna? – Deadly Premonition Origins

The following is not so much a review as a picking apart because it’s a game that left me with a lot of questions. It includes spoilers though I’ve tried to keep details to a minimum.

Also, content warning at the very end for a flashing image.

I think I was about 11 when it happened. It was late one night, I was alone in my room, struggling to sleep, so I carefully turned on my TV and put the volume down to the lowest I could still manage to hear it at. There were only 4 channels in the UK at the time so not a huge selection. I distinctly remember turning to one channel and seeing a man in blue pajamas, lying in bed, with two police officers standing around him, looking concerned.

The blue-clad man stood up and went to the bathroom, wasted a lot of toothpaste and then slammed his head into the bathroom mirror, which cracked. There was some blood on the glass, and looking back at the giggling man with a head injury, was a reflection not his own. Instead it was a scruffy looking and sinister older man.

Something about this scene really unsettled me and I decided that was quite enough television. However, I’d be sleeping with the lights on that night… if I slept at all.

That was the final scene of the final episode of Twin Peaks season 2, and it really stayed with me. When I was older, I bought a (fairly) complete VHS box set of the show and watched it over and over, especially any episodes in the red room, or where things were most strange. Twin Peaks did creeping, weird, discomfort, set in a seemingly simple and mundane setting in a way I was deeply drawn to.

Over the last nine years, I’ve kept hearing the name Deadly Premonition over and over. It’s always come up as “very you, Jane”.

Some time ago, I purchased it on Steam, but then completely forgot about it (Probably because I saw something shiny and got distracted). When I found it again I spent most of two days trying to get the damn thing to work, without success and so it was forgotten, and I was fairly sure then that I’d never get to play it.

However, a recent Nintendo Direct showed that not only was it getting a sequel, but that it was being re-released on Switch as Deadly Premonition Origins. So finally, I’ve got the chance to play. It’s safe to say, that the Switch version can definitely be completed without the game breaking crashes of the old PC version.

Now DP has been released on consoles, then re-released as a directors cut and now this. As such, I think it’s reasonable to assume that however it is now, is how it is “supposed” to be. Especially as this release has taken some of those things back out from the Directors Cut (apparently the director had a change of heart on some of the changes). At this point, everything can be considered intentional (and yes, I would say the same about Skyrim and it’s curious glitches. If that wasn’t their artistic vision, they’d have fixed it by now).

Francis York Morgan (call him York, everybody does) is an FBI detective with a number of dangerous habits. He smokes cigarettes like he’s chewing a lollipop, while on the phone, while using his laptop, while driving at high speed, at night, in heavy rain. Also he eats smoked salmon he finds in lockers in abandoned lumber mills. He is – to put it simply – a reckless dickhead.

Understandably, the game begins with York flipping his car, and finding himself in the woods, somehow alive (although, who knows, this game could all be a Silent Hill, moment of death hallucination), while his car starts to slowly burn. Suddenly, theres all these people, looking dead, broken. They bend over backwards lumbering and flickering towards him like ghosts from a Japanese horror film. Moving in a way that I find deeply and wonderfully unsettling.

In some ways, it’s fitting that the game opens with York flipping the car, because the driving in this game is some of the most frustrating I’ve ever encountered. Steering is so sensitive that the first few times I was charged with driving a vehicle myself, I was weaving side to side and into trees like I was also smoking, making a call and using my laptop. Again, I have to believe that this was deliberate, as they definitely could have dialed it down by now if they wanted. This then is York being an appalling driver and a danger to himself and others (run sheriff, run deputy, run while you still can! Don’t dare to get in this car with York, he’s a fucking liablity).

To look at, you’d be forgiven for thinking Deadly Premonition was late PS2/Dreamcast era game, but it came out the same year as Fallout: New Vegas and Mass Effect 2 so there’s really no reason it had to look like this. The character models are ok, but goodness, the first time you see York smile, you’ll be sleeping with the lights on.

DP has some quite interesting little management aspects. If you don’t change and wash your clothes, they’ll become increasingly creased and dirty. If you don’t shave, you’ll start to grow a beard. York also needs to eat, sleep, keep his pulse within a reasonable window. It’s like the game is trying to be part life sim, part police procedural, part people management, and drunk driving simulator.

Everything about the sound in this game is too dramatic. All sorts of mundane actions or events – even entering the pause menu- causes dramatic, discordant, instrumental hits, that somehow still disquieted me hours into the game.

Then there’s the music, and this is where a good few minutes of hysterical laughter first started. Very near the beginning of the game, there’s a scene where York has breakfast with the hotel owner. They sit at opposite ends of a long banquet table, in the otherwise empty hotel restraunt. Each time York asks a new question a loud, jaunty piece of music starts. It’s out of place with the scene, and almost completely drowns out the dialogue. I’m convinced this is deliberate, because after nearly a decade I can’t believe that they wouldn’t have corrected the default audio balance if it wasn’t intentional.

Consequently I ask myself: why is this the case? Why did SWERY want to drown out the conversation? My only conclusion so far is that York places so little value in it that he’s half in his mind just thinking of a jaunty tune. This would sit with the fact he’s a massive douchecanoe (the Director’s Cut, did change the sound balance in this scene and it was nowhere near as hilarious. Besides, they didn’t re-release the DC, they released this).

It’s not just the music that’s bizarre, there’s a scene at one point where the tension is high, you’re running all over town on foot, desperate to get to your goal, but the game insists on stopping every hundred yards to chat about something unrelated or just cutting to another scene entirely. Once again, the ridiculousness of this moment had me laughing my arse off.

There’s also the question of York’s state of mind (or possibly state within the

multiverse). York frequently puts fingers to the side of his head and speaks to someone named Zach. He’s not wearing an earpiece, so the question of who he’s actually talking to remains a mystery. One of the menus describes Zach as York’s other personality, so the answer could be as simple as that. But… then there’s the way that York will ask a Zach a question and you, the player, will have to answer, using on-screen prompts. Have I been designated Zach for the purpose of the game? (more on this later.)

I’m reminded of how Dale Cooper in Twin Peaks would talk to his dictaphone, to the possibly non-existent (until Twin Peaks The Return, 26 years after the last episode was shown) Diane.

It’s not just Zach though, there’s also the matter of the otherworldly sections, where strange, red weeds block doors; where odd red mist blocks paths or objects; and where strange beings emerge from black marks on the walls and floor to assault you.

Early on, there’s a scene were York goes to the hospital to recover a coroner’s report. The path down is simple, a brief, simple word puzzle and then following a marker downstairs and into the morgue. Having annoyed the local sheriff, the deputy, and the coroner by being an arrogant jackass, York states he’s going for a smoke.

However, the moment he steps into the corridor, the world is changed again. It’s sinister, as the woods had been. There’s that red weed again. There’s those black marks. There’s the strangely moving assailants, juddering and twisting to attack him (frankly I think this is deserved). Having worked his way back upstairs – by finding key cards and getting past enemies – and into the hospital lobby, all is suddenly normal again. This lobby which was full of red weeds and shambling monsters which I was spraying with bullets is back to normal.

This is a mechanic that repeats throughout the game and leads me to question, is York seeing things, or slipping between realities, like someone trapped in Silent Hill? Truth be told, there’s a lot about the enemy movement and the way they emerge from the dark patches on the walls that makes me think of Silent Hills 2 and 4 (and I’m so here for that, because those are two of my favourite horror games).

A scene at the art gallery sees a York and three police officers trying to find a way in as the front door is locked. It’s late at night and raining heavily and the clouds are doing that purple thing they do when he enters the other worldly sections. The officers wander around the front of the building but only York will head around the sides. Here there are endlessly respawning enemies which will attack you. However, they never come near the police and don’t go to the front of the building. So are they real, hallucinations, or do they exist in a place outside Greenvale, outside the reality usually perceived here?

For an FBI agent, York doesn’t mess around when it comes to weaponry. You start the game your standard issue 9mm pistol and a knife. Soon enough he’ll locate the standard issue survival horror steel pipe which will grant you a little more room.

While the pistol thankfully comes with unlimited ammo, the melee weapons break after a few uses (meaning that you don’t want to get into a fight with more than one enemy unless your weapon has decent health, otherwise you’ll likely get attacked in the few seconds it takes York to swap to a fresh weapon.

As you move through the game, you’ll start to find more useful weapons like the assalt rifle and shotgun. While I was initially cautious about using my big guns in favour of my trusty pistol, I found that as long as I wasn’t just spraying bullets everywhere like a penis owner meat spin pissising in a public toilet, I was getting sufficient drops from downed enemies to keep myself in shooty things.

The game allows you to auto target an enemy by pressing a shoulder button. This is reasonably effective and if you nudge the stick slightly upwards, you’re usually good for a headshot.

There is one enemy however which cannot be fought in the usual manner. That being the dreaded Raincoat Killer. Clad in a long red raincoat, their features as indiscernible as a nazgul save for a pair of glowing eyes. When they appear, it’s usually a sign you’re going to have to engage with some QTE nonsense.

Maybe it’s just me as someone who plays on a lot of different systems and has coordination issues, but I find the amount of time you get to hit the buttons isn’t really long enough to read, process, and react. One section in particular had me enter a room, get attacked, fail the QTE, restart, and pass the first event, only to miss a second prompt and have to start again, this happened almost every time of the 5 or so parts to this section. Every attempt getting me a little further, but becoming less dramatic tension and more needless frustration. This may be a Switch issue, as I find it much easier to remember the positions of colours and shapes that just the letters alone.

If you’re trans and reading this, you’ve probably had someone warn you about an aspect of this game. I too was warned before I started (and several times thereafter by concerned friends) that there is a gender non-conforming character in this and they’re not well handled (I’m not sure if we’d call them trans as we don’t get much chance to speak to them or find out what their deal is. Only that, like the murder victims, they’re wearing that long red dress and heels).

I knew it was coming and still I felt very squicked out when the person who could bake beautifully, acts bashfully, and is seen skipping around in a childlike fashion early on in the game, is found to have a large collection of makeup and a wig at their apartment.

While I was impressed that this reveal wasn’t played for laughs and the voice actor didn’t just go for a ridiculous falsetto for the character, it does still fall into that trope of “unhinged, violent trans person” that we’ve come to know and hate.

It’s around this part of the game that you get a chance to play as someone other than York (because he’s tied to a chair with a blindfold on). Upon entering a building, as this other character, you’re faced with those red vines and the twisted assailants. Which means, they’re real(?) This completely confused me as everything so far seemed to suggest it was just a York thing.

Right near the end, there is some additional information about Zach, but you’re very much left to decide for yourself what this actually means. Whether they’re a repressed part of the characters’s personality, a splinter caused during childhood trauma or a parallel being who came to save them. I’m leaning towards the possibility of some parallel being since the primary antagonist mentions Zach being in the White Room

Deadly Premonition feels so much like it wants to be an homage to Twin Peaks. An FBI agent is called to investigate the curious death of a young, local woman; it’s set in Washington state; the diner could not be more like the RR (right down to the aggy husband of the owner); the bar on the edge of town is reminiscent of the Roadhouse; Sigorny is like a lively version of the Log Lady; York is very into his coffee; he gets accurate information from unusual, seemingly random sources; the waterfall up by Harry’s mansion look very much look very much like those seen in the opening shots of Twin Peaks’ opening credits; Anna’s mother falls apart in a very odd way following her daughter’s death (is Anna Graham a reference to Annie being played by Heather Graham?); there’s versions of the Black and White Lodges in the form of the Red and White Rooms, where spirits of the dead can commune with the living and the occupants of this space can take the forms of those still living. It’s like a love letter to the show and I’m so here for that.

There are parts of this game I loved and others I found utterly frustrating or awful. I’ve played objectively bad games before (check out my review for Overgrowth for example) and put them down without actually finishing due to awful controls or wonky plots. I didn’t do that here, and not because I was hooked on an addictive gameplay loop, but because I was genuinely engaged with the story, the side quests, and the world(s?) in which the game takes place. I’m left with a desire to pick over the story and ponder over its world after I’ve finished playing and I want to play the sequel to explore more of this world.

That said, there are parts of the game that I would ordinarily award it a flat zero score, and I can’t ignore that.

Pros:

  • A really interesting and deep story
  • Scenes so bizarre you’ll be forced to laugh
  • Fascinating world full of curious characters

Cons:

  • Some Skyrim level glitches (floating fires, people flying along next to the car they’re driving, clipping through the odd door/floor)
  • Just horrible driving mechanics, especially in any of the police vehicles
  • Poor handling of a trans character (though not nearly as bad a some)

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Deadly Premonition Origins’ score exists within the other world.

Better Than A Head In A Bucket – Oculus Quest

Surely it is the goal of every friend group to sit around watching one of your number strap a box to their head and then flail around at nothing while the rest video it for light ribbing at a later time? Surely we all dream of being punched in the knees by someone slow motion fighting an invisible enemy? Surely, we all sat too close to the TV as kids, to try and capture the full cinema effect (and were perhaps told by a relative that our eyes would go square if we did so (well the screen’s strapped to my head now granny, what you gonna do, huh))?

Well worry not, your prayers are answered, and just like many other prayers, there’s going to need to be a large cash outlay to some middleperson before they’re willing to let said prayers on through.

Slightly strained metaphor there, but what the heck.

The third-ish generation of virtual reality gaming is here (I say third, we’ve got like the Virtuality headsets of the 90s (I’m not counting the Virtual Boy, no one should), then the more recent Oculus Rift/HTC Vive/PSVR era, and now this. Hurrumble) and it’s definitely moving in the right direction. First off the headset isn’t nearly as heavy as some, and the fact you don’t need any wires really helps lighten that load. It’s a lovely shape and the tiny IR cameras are fitted snugly into the body of the unit. On top of that, the Quest doesn’t require any additional sensors around the room to function, making it super convenient to use.

Inside the headset you’ll find the padding around the eyes is comfortable and the screens fill a good amount of your vision. My only gripe here is that there is a lot of space around the nose that lets in light, but keep your eyes up and you can still stay very immersed. The box it comes in also includes a spacer so you can comfortably wear glasses with it, woo!

There is a headphone jack on the side if you want to go that way, but I found the speakers really good and clear for directional sound. Plus, not having to wear separate headphones means that more of your head is free and therefore cooler (especially important if you’re really leaping around playing the likes of Beat Saber).

The Quest boasts a per eye resolution of 1440 x 1600 (which is better than the monitor on my PC if I’m honest) and looks really crisp in the games I’ve tried.

The unit stays in place thanks to three velcro straps which can be individually lengthened or shortened. I initially found that looking up and down could cause the headset to slip slightly, but I managed to resolve this by lengthening the overhead strap and tightening the sides up. I’ve also seen online that some folx have tried strapping a battery pack to the back to balance the weight (handy if you want to play long sessions without plugging to the mains).

I’ve found the head tracking to be spot on, though you can sometimes find that the controllers aren’t in quite the right place if they’re held down by your side or slightly behind you for an extended period. However, this can be easily fixed by moving them slightly forward, within sight of the cameras for a moment.

The Quest features the ability to use full room-scale VR, without the aid of base stations or additional cameras, which is awesome as heck, if you have that kind of space. Just enter room-scale setup, pop a controller on the floor to set the height, and then draw a line around the useable space in the room (or rooms it turns out. I tried seeing if I could draw the play area into the kitchen and hallway, which it did just fine, but was odd to feel like I was looking through walls in my flat when I saw it).

Once you’ve drawn your space out, it will be remembered between sessions with great accuracy, as long as you haven’t moved large objects around the room. However, if you open a curtain or move something large, or turn on a very bright light, you might find the unit struggling to recognise its surroundings.

If you don’t fancy wandering around in a virtual world, you can just sit down and use the sitting setting. This creates a virtual tube around you and doesn’t get too fussy if you just reach slightly outside this to manipulate virtual worlds. My only minor annoyance with this is that if you switch to sitting mode, you will have to redraw the room again if you switch back to room-scale

The controllers are lightweight, but feel nice, have easy to find buttons, a good analogue stick, and an impressive rumble for something so light. Additionally, the batteries on the controllers last a really long time (I’ve played all through Superhot VR, Virtual Virtual Reality, most of I Expect You To Die, plus days of Beatsaber and Tilt Brush, and so has my fiancée and they’re still on about 50% power). Furthermore, if they do run out and you want to play in a hurry, they will run off of a single AA battery each, which is great.

As for the battery life on the headset, you’ll find this depends on how loud your volume is set and how fancy the graphics on your game are, but on average, I’m getting about 3 hours of intensive use out of it before it needs a charge. Though you can just plug it in and play from the mains if you want (I thought I wanted, but I realised 3 days in I’d already become a cable snob (who even am I anymore?!)).

The system comes with in 64gb and 128gb versions, retailing at £399 & £499 respectively. I’ve got a bunch of games installed on a 64gb system and there’s still around half the space left. It helps that most are only about 3gb so once you get the current 10 best games installed, you’ll still have plenty of room for all your Tilt Brush art. For what the system is, and what it will be mostly used for, I think 64gb would be plenty for most people.

The big question really has to be, is it worth it? Honestly, I’m not 100% sure. I love using it, I love the fact we have one at home, I love that I can take it to a friends house and show them VR without having to lug a PC around as well, I love the immersion, I love that Beatsaber made exercise more fun, I loved watching VR videos from space, I love the big screen cinema experience in my living room.

But… It’s very expensive for what it is. For the same price you could get a PS4 Pro or most of an Xbox One X or the deposit on a gaming laptop, so if it’s this, or something else deal, maybe get something else. However, if you have the money to spare and no other commitments, go for it, it’s brilliant.

Pros:

  • Lightweight
  • Cable free
  • No additional components required

Cons:

  • Expensive for what it is
  • Battery life could be longer
  • Having to redraw the boundaries for room scale if you switch between room-scale and sitting modes.

Final Score: 8/10

Blue Eyed Dragon Breath – Yu-Gi-Oh! Legacy of the Duelist: Link Evolution

Yu-Gi-Oh! Spikey hair, cards, Blue-Eyes White Dragon, The Heart of the Cards, ridiculous plots involving pharaohs? Really?! Like Stargate? Not like Stargate? Ok then.

It’s Yu-Gi-Oh everyone.

I’ll be honest, I’ve not played much Yu-Gi-Oh. My fiancée used to play the collectible card game years ago, and we’ve played a few games in the past, but I don’t really get it and I’m not super keen. It may be that the closest I got to a CCG was collecting Magic: The Gathering cards, but never playing because I didn’t have any friends as a kid.

As I got older I did eventually get to play with various partners, but I started to think it might be cursed. This was due to the fact that all it took was a couple of games of MTG and a week or so later and our relationships were over. As such, I’d become a little weary of it. That was all unfounded and now I play MTG, Pokémon, and occasionally Yu-Gi-Oh with my fiancée whenever we have a free weekend.

Now, we mostly play with fairly old cards, and we’re well aware that there are a lot of new rules in the modern game. The thing is, neither of us is willing to get sucked back into buying hundreds of cards until we can’t afford to eat.

Yu-Gi-Oh! Legacy of the Duelist: Link Evolution is here to for people like us, who want to try more of the game, but aren’t willing to throw an entire paycheck at Konami for the privilege. You want more cards? Just play the campaign game and gain points and cards, along with unlocking booster packs which you can purchase with in-game currency, from the shop.

No microtransactions, no DLC, just play more to get more. Simple.

The main part of the game is the campaign mode. Here you can play through each of the TV series, reliving great moments from the show. The stories are told through a series of vignettes like an anime powerpoint presentation. You’ll watch (or after the first few, skip) through the plot before being thrown into a duel as you would have seen it on screen.

Here comes my major gripe with the game. the decks being played are all about those moments in the show. They’re not super balanced, there isn’t a huge amount of synergy, and you don’t even get a chance to see what’s in your character’s deck until you draw the cards. I feel like if you’re supposed to be playing the characters, they’d know what you’re playing with. Perhaps I should just trust in the Heart of the Cards *rolls eyes*.

Too often I found that victory or crushing defeat was simply a matter of luck. If my first hand was good, I could be finished if a few minutes. If not I could either waste my time trying to block and hope I’d draw something to help with a come back (that would never come). More often than not, I’d look at my first hand, maybe my next 1-2 cards and surrender if it was already precarious, because the game beat the idea that recovery was even the vaguest speculation of a possibility. The only exception was playing the reverse match (play as an antagonist against one of the good characters in a duel you’ve already won from the other side) as Wendle, with an insect deck. This was the first time I saw a deck that even vaguely turned a game around.

As you play through, the game does a really good job of explaining each new mechanic in a fairly simple manner. This has definitely given me a much better understanding of how to play the decks we have at home along with the newer rules for things like pendulum or XYZ summons. The way you’re taught is very much just “here’s the instructions, do the thing”. It’s up to you to take a moment and read each of the cards in your own time. Thankfully, the tutorial doesn’t stop that. If you want to learn Yu-Gi-Oh, you could do a lot worse than play through the campaign tutorials in this.

Once you win a duel, you’ll be awarded a couple of signature cards for your opponent, some points (which you can use as currency in the in-game shop), the reverse match I mentioned earlier, and a blueprint for recreating the deck you played with.

After you’ve had enough of the campaign (and heck me there’s a lot to play through) you can try other modes. Play online in various modes (including local wireless, online, sealed play, draft play, and ranked matches), and build your own decks with the cards you’ve unlocked or purchased in-game.

This is where I feel the game really shines. Suddenly, you have the chance to put together some really good decks and try them out. The deck builder even has an option to select a card you like and then have the game suggest cards that will work well with it. This feature works really well and you can put together some really devastating decks on the advise of these suggestions.

The online mode seems well populated and and runs just fine. Which is really all you need to know.

Overall, Yu-Gi-Oh! Legacy of the Duelist: Link Evolution is as good a digital version of a collectable card game as I’ve seen for any of them. The graphics are nice during duels (though the animations of high level creatures being summoned looks a little bit early 00s era CG if I’m honest), the sound design is good enough, the selection of cards to use is great, the deck builder is really user friendly, the tutorials are very good, and the controls are simple. If you want an affordable way to play, or a way to play online because you can’t get anyone more local into Yu-Gi-Oh, this is the perfect way to do it.

Pros:

  • Lots of cards to win/unlock with no additional cash outlay once you’ve bought the game.
  • Good tutorials.
  • Excellent deck builder.

Cons:

  • Summoning high level creatures will play some ropey looking 00s era CG animations.
  • The vignettes make each series of the show look dull as heck.
  • Pre-built decks are poorly designed.

Final Score: 6.5/10

Spooky Action At A Distance – Man Of Medan

I used to watch a lot of horror films, not sure what happened, perhaps I just caught a lot of really bad ones in a row. Regardless, I’ve not had time for horror much of late. Gore doesn’t really do it for me. I’m not averse to it, I just don’t think that it makes a movie better. I like a creeping sense of dread. The idea that this horrifying thing is becoming more than 90 minutes in the dark with popcorn. Something that gets into your mind and gives you a moment’s pause in the dark, when you’re alone.

Some time early this year I finally got a chance to play Until Dawn with my fiancée. We shared time on the controller and made any decisions, that didn’t require split second timing, between us. It was a nice couple of evenings sharing moments of panic through quick time events, moments of surprise, and the all important moments of quiet in between, to build the tension. This was good horror.

Around the same time, The Dark Pictures Anthology: Man Of Medan was announced from the same studio as Until Dawn. The plan was to take all the photorealistic character styling, decision making, quick time events, and exploration of the original game and create an anthology series of slightly shorter stories that can be played solo or with others in a number of different ways.

First up, there’s standard solo play. See all the things, from your currently controlled character’s perspective, explore, decide, try to keep everyone alive while you unravel the mystery of the decaying military vessel where most of the game takes place.

Next there’s couch co-op. Choose your number of players, and which characters each person will play as. As you move through the story you’ll get messages between scenes telling you who should be on the controller for the next section. Where as in Until Dawn, we made pretty much all decisions relating to the protagonists together, here we played our own characters, to our own tastes. Something very much encouraged by having the characters divided among us.

Lastly, there’s online co-op, and here’s where things change in a really interesting way.

There are sections of the game which happen simultaneously. As such, one player can be talking to another character in one area, while another person is exploring another section of the ship. Consequently you can have a moment very near the beginning of the game where two groups of characters are having entirely different stories told.

Those below the waves are finding interesting artifacts and trying to understand how a plane came down. Meanwhile above, a group of pirates are harassing those on the boat, eventually leading to an explosion, which the others see from underwater. This, in turn leading to WTF moments from the divers, which the characters can decide to discuss, or not. It’s up to the players to decide if they’ll share that information with each other or keep all explanation within the game itself. There’s a few other moments where this is used really well, but I won’t spoil you on it. Suffice to say that playing solo or in movie night (couch co-op) mode, the game takes around 5 hours to complete. Whereas online co-op is closer to 3 because of the overlapping sections.

The basic plot of the game sees two brothers, Alex (kind of a jock) and Bradley (an adorable, shy, nerdy type) preparing to take Julia (whom Alex is dating and seems like the type to ask to speak to your manager), and her brother Conrad (goofy alcoholic rich boy who seems like a total liability) out for some diving around a crashed plane they have located. This is a previously unexplored wreck and there’s excitement about what they’ll find, and in what condition. The last member of our merry band is Fliss, the boat captain (absolute badass, if a little shady) who’ll be taking them out on the ocean.

Things start off pretty gently through a flashback featuring a couple of naval soldiers on shore leave. The game uses this time to gently introduce the controls and game mechanics in a no-stakes environment. Flash forward then, to the present and we see our main cast loading their boat up for the proposed dive. Before long though, it’s all diving to the crashed plane, hearing rumors of lost gold, the aforementioned pirates showing up and dragging everyone off to and older and decaying, but still familiar ship. All aboard is very quiet and our protagonists are in over their heads. And that… is all I’m saying. You’ll have to play it for yourself if you want plot. Suffice to say, I enjoyed it a lot, on multiple playthroughs.

Just like Until Dawn, characters can die and this will very much change how the remaining characters interact and what options they have going forward. This gives the game a lot of replayability. Do you want a horror film with a lone survivor of the group? Do you want to try and save everyone? Maybe “accidently” fail a few quick time events to off that one character you don’t like? The options are all there.

The sound design and music is spot on. With great effects and cues that are well used, to enrich the experience. Graphically, the game is on par with Until Dawn. Which is to say, beautifully rendered and animated character with really uncanny teeth (why do all of these games do that?). The lighting is great and the locations are wonderfully grimey in just the right way. That said, I did experience some minor slow down in a few areas and a couple of momentary glitches, though this may be patched by the time of release.

One thing I was really happy to see was the number of accessibility options. I have a number of sensory processing issues which can make a game like this frustratingly difficult at best and unplayable at worst. First up, you have the ability to remove time limits from QTE button prompts. As long as you hit the correct button, you won’t fail. Additionally, there’s the option to replace button mashing sections with just holding the button down. Next up, there’s options to change how subtitles appear. Do you want the subtitles on a background rather than just overlayed straight onto the action? Do you want to change the colours for a more manageable contrast? Those options are here for you. Lastly, there’s the sidebar, which will put text from the various documents you find lying around into a more legible format, in a pop-up sidebar. These are all great considerations that I hope to see making their way to other games of this type in future.

The Dark Pictures Anthology has the potential to be to the interactive horror genre, what Telltale Games were to, well, all the many many genres things they worked on (though hopefully, it won’t end up collapsing like an incorrectly assembled deck chair as TTG did).

Pros:

  • Stunning graphics and sound design
  • Lots of replayability
  • Great story to unravel

Cons:

  • Some minor slow down in a couple of places
  • Pirates are mean
  • I’m struggling to come up with my usual 3 of these.

Final Score: 9/10